Questions Answered

A beloved congregation member asked to see me after worship. While talking, we found the tree in the forest that was causing the other problems to snowball: his finances. I started asking questions, scratched out a spreadsheet, helped him make a short term plan and set long terms goals. When we finished, he looked at me wide-eyed and said, "I didn't expect you to actually help me!", because we sadly don't expect much from clergy. 

That was my 'lightbulb moment' that I wanted to actually help people live better lives, because we all are filled with a divine light that needs to shine.  Individual pastoral counseling and small group programs became my passion, because I love watching people grow and find their passions and their peace.  

After my conversation (above), I began thinking about how to be more effective in my pastoral care. In seminary and ministry trainings, we are pretty much taught to listen to someone for 20 minutes, tell them we are sorry for what they are going through, say a prayer for God to magically fix it, and send them on their way. I needed more.

I earned a Certification in Spirituality of Children and Youth to better encourage young people, I completed a Coaching Certificate to learn to ask better questions, and a Certificate in Religious Trauma designed for therapists to better understand how religion has negatively impacted the lives of so many. 

My coaching is a blend of spirituality,  counseling concepts, and compassion. Let me listen to your struggles, successes and dreams, and guide you in finding purpose, peace, and fulfillment. 

That's ok, you still have core values and visions for your life, and a history to process (and probably a relative who won't stop pestering you about church or going to hell). 

This is not religious counseling in that we read scripture, say a prayer, and hope for the best. We do hope for the best, but the best needs a plan and discernment and thoughtful engagement to achieve the ideal present and future. 

Chances are, you've been hurt by people of faith, possibly family members, who should be the ones to love and protect us from harm. It takes courage and vulnerability to trust a person of faith (me) to provide you with care. I understand and respect the vulnerability you are coming to me with. My focus is healing and encouraging you to live your best life. No hidden agenda, I promise. 

When a loved one comes out, one of the challenges families face is reconciling the messages they have heard from faith leaders with their love for their family member. As a Reconciling Ministries Network pastor, I believe that all people are sacredly and blessedly made, and can back it up with scripture, history, tradition and reason (the four pillars of United Methodism). In addition to helping see your loved one through the eyes of God, I can help you have those difficult conversations with family members about your child or loved ones sexuality, set boundaries to help protect your child, and give your child the hope and support to live their life fully and authentically.